And Then I Kissed Him
by The-Music-of-hands
Summary: And then I kissed him. It was so light, so gentle, and full of warmth, his lukewarm skin brushing against mine… It was completely and utterly amazing… [Sequel to And Then It Happened]


_A/N_

_As I finished the first one…I realized that it needed a sequel, something that explained the girl. And so, here it is… I wrote this with much angst on my mind. I recomend that you read the first one before this if you want to understand a bit more, but, it's all cool if you don't. Well, enjoy!_

_People__ I would like to thank for my inspiration-_

_-__TheMeltingB__oy_

_-__Ekoaleko_

_-The Scarlet Sky_

_-Jean Cooper_

_Plus the awesome dramatic "Pearl Harbor" Soundtrack for producing the mood music for such angst, great piano…I absolutely love it._

_Anyone else who has inspired me, Thank you so much! _

_-The-Music-Of-Hands_

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And Then I Kissed Him

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Have you ever wondered where the past has gone, if it's actually been erased, or just waiting backstage, when it can appear a hundred years later to one of your great grandchildren… Are those precious memories just in your head, or are they waiting, dusty and old, packed away into storage until they can be rewound and then replayed. 

Somehow, even now, when I'm older and all I have left are those bittersweet films, replaying themselves in my head, I still remember that one person, who stole me forever and just left a shell. We were just tiny little kids, always taking candy from babies, and getting into trouble later. We were innocent…well, as innocent as seven year olds could get. Back then…wow. Back then I had real long hair; it kind of just fell down my back in boring straight hanks of blonde/brown strands. I always wore the same ragged jeans, and the same baggy black sweatshirt. My hair…it was always left down, and sometimes, when I was with my friends, I would forget to brush it on days on end. I had always been a sort of…tomboy. I never was into the princesses or makeup, or the glittery journals that you could write in with those special gel glitter pens. I had more boys for friends then girls…and that was the truth…sad as it sounds, I was happy. I hung out with a select crowd, of course which were all boys. There was one boy in particular that had always sparked my interest; of course, I brushed it off as some kind of fascination with his attitude. Like the way he never seemed to care about anything even though deep inside his was a big soft teddy bear, just waiting for a hug. Though, he seemed to hate every single one of the other girls, who would giggle and squeal when he walked by—in which I deemed stupid because he wasn't even that cool—he always accepted me into his group.

I guess that's what kind of got me, when he would punch my arm in a gruff way, or break off a piece of his candy bar just because he would catch me eyeing it from the corner. We were always looking for some kind of adventure, and with that came trouble, heaps and piles of it. More then enough for us to share…we got grounded more than any other kid in our class.

Then, I grew up…and I remember, his face is blurry, but I still remember his voice, so clear and sharp, it had that husky mature sound that made it sound just right. He was a boy in our chapel; he had the perfect hair, the perfect brown eyes… I thought I liked him…

Well, he asked me out and as I was growing into one of the most hormonal girls around, I accepted, thinking that I found the boy I was supposed to be with forever… Two weeks later, well, let's just say I was dead wrong about that forever part. He was always trying to break into my pants, always trying to make out in dark corners… He was always horny. So I slapped him…beat him a little, and then went back to my previous clan of just me and the guys. Middle school was hell, just pure preteen hell. The cliques had a devastating effect on you, and that's when all those weird emotions kicked in. Between the preps, punks, and geeks, our little group got confused and some of us eventually turned on each other and migrated to their clique, their little home away from home, their family now that we were losers.

But he and I and a few other straggling survivors managed to stay partially glued until high school. Then freshman year…that year was a doozy if I ever saw one. Finally, our little group consisted of one other guy besides him. And by then, well, I was starting to develop some pretty odd things… I also started to worry about some pretty odd things as well. Like when we would hang out I was start thinking 'Oh! Are my boobs too small' or 'do I have too many pimples'…The kind of things that I had never worried about before, the kind of things that a girl would think about.

I guess it all came in a deluxe pack, all for one low, low, Wal-Mart price. It was one day when I invited him over for a video game challenge. He came over and we sat there, and played video games. There was no one else in the house, my parents had gone to see a movie, and my mom was a romance freak so I somehow knew she had kind of planned it. We had the occasional laugh, I hit him on the arm, he playfully hit me back, and then when I passed him a soda…my view just kind of changed. I don't know if he noticed it, but my hand, for just two seconds maybe shorter, just kind of brushed his skin and then I noticed. I don't know why I had never noticed before, but…

He was a guy… He was my friend… We were alone in a house with no supervision.

And for a moment, I just stared while he got this entirely odd look on his face…like he was surprised or something. From this day, I never did find out what he was thinking at that minute. I almost kissed him…just barely, almost.

But I didn't.

Then one day my Dad…he just started spewing out these hurtful things…and, I guess I was just emotional or something, but I cried really hard. I bawled and bawled and bawled, and he stood there staring at me… He touched my head, really just a fleeting kind of pat and I remember, I leaned into him, just like that. And when he put his arms around me in an awkward hug…

And I knew, at that moment he was there for me…

It was at the beginning of sophomore year that I had a crush on this totally cute guy in my literature class, he was cute, perfect, a gentleman, until I found out that he was dealing. After that, I kind of lost interest, and when that passed, surprise! Along came a new one…

I really wasn't expecting it or anything, everyone one said it was bound to happen, I guess I just never believed them. One day I decided I was going to tell him how I felt, even though he would probably think that the whole idea was just a bucket of soupy ludicrous, I just couldn't keep it in forever.

In class, which was boring as hell, he sent me little notes. It was so hard to read his messy scrawl, but…it just suited him, his messy ginger hair, his ice-blue eyes, and his messy room and up and down temper. I can't remember what they said…it was so long ago, something so treasured, and yet, I didn't even write down what he said.

He asked me if I liked him…and then, the inevitable, the teacher caught us, and detention was destined. We sat there, while the lord of detention drawled on and on about some kind of math sequence. Then finally he blew his funny little blue cap straight off his head and marched right out of the room, complaining about the dire need of caffeine. Then, we were alone, for the second time… I remember his words…clear, low husky like, boyish and yet, mature. He scooted closer while I cradled my head in my hands…my bangs falling in my eyes in red crimson wisps.

_'You know, I can't seem to figure you out…' _Yep, that's what I said, hook, line, and sinker…

I just couldn't seem to get him, so I tried the next best thing… I tried…though I'm not sure if it had the desired effect…

_'__So…let'__s begin where we left off…hmm?'_

_'__So, do you like me for real?'_

_'Why do you want to know?'_

_'I just do…'_

And I answered, witty as ever, my heart beating faster every time I pulled out another word from my throat.

_'__Tell me…and I'll tell you…__' _

_'Fine, I like yo__u okay…so do you like me?'_

And then before I knew it, I was an inch away from his face…the closest I'd ever been. I know it's silly, but at that moment, when my heart was beating and I had that weird falling feeling deep down in the pit of my stomach, I worried about my breath… Yeah…great isn't it? Strawberries and sprite, surely a disgusting combination…

As I stood there, staring at him, my nose touching his… I felt something, something so amazing, so mysterious, and so fascinating, it was indescribable. And then I kissed him. It was so light, so gentle, and full of warmth, his lukewarm skin brushing against mine…

It was completely and utterly amazing…

Right then, the moment was wasted, and I actually felt that I needed to kill the teacher who barged in, holding some kind of drink. He threw out a math question that I quickly wrote down on a piece of paper, and then when he asked me for the answer, I told it to him in a soft voice, full of choking fluttery emotion.

_'I think that answered your question'_

But, when I said that…I wasn't looking at the teacher…

I was looking at _him…_

And then, after I kissed him, I knew…

That I loved him….

After that, nothing seemed to be normal, nothing seemed right. Everything I looked at was different, it had more variety, and it had a spark that was alive, something that I hadn't noticed before. And he was there right by my side, the whole time, holding my hand as we walked home from school, his arm around my waist when we walked to school in the morning. Everything was different, and yet…it was the same. We loved each other, we loved the world. Truthfully, it couldn't get much better than that.

Then the summer came…and I had to go away to visit a family I didn't know I ever had in Europe. I t was in this one tiny town, and we stayed at this old ranch, a perfect little place, I clearly remember this creek…it was clear and soft sounding…it sang to me by my open window at night… My own personal song… After that, I went back to him. When I got there, the leaves were red, and the air was chilled, but that didn't make my feelings lukewarm, they were hotter than ever. For three month's it was complete perfection, and everything was as it should have been. Then there was the accident… and that was when the perfection officially ended. My Mom was driving home from work, and then she just…crashed. She never did make it out of that room with those pasty white walls and crisp cold sheets… She just laid on her bed, face pale eyes glassy and hollow, no more a romantic idealist…just a useless shell.

My passion for him hadn't faded…but…I just couldn't deal with myself anymore… I was just so useless, so unable to do anything. I didn't even tell my Mom to be careful, or watch out for idiots, or…don't be an idiot… And so, it was partially my fault.

Then my Dad signed up for a job, declared to me that we needed something more, something new, something exiting. We were moving. To Alaska, so he could have a good job at the slope. We were going to move at the beginning of the spring, so we could get used to our new exiting lives… I crossed my heart to myself, and swore to not tell him until we were close to that time, so I could love him and not break his heart and mine.

But when we spent time together, it just wasn't the same not telling him everything…it was like I didn't trust him like I was hiding myself from him. And I'm sure he didn't like it, I know, because I _hated _it.

But we both put up with it, and tried to make the best of our time.

Then, spring break came, and we went camping, it was just his family and mine, a closely knit group. I remember, and still cry about those words; about his voice…because I knew it was a last attempt to make things better, a last resort to go back to when we first loved each other.

That day, while we were just sitting there in front of a greenish colored lake, he taught me how to skip a stone…and then he said it…

_'I love you…'_

And when I looked at him, my face making a sad attempt to smile, it was all I could do not to cry…

_'I love you too…'_

Because, who doesn't cry, when they're about to lose the only person they've ever loved?

I ended that with a kiss…a sad, momentarily kiss. And I think that we both knew that it was one of the last.

Two hours passed, I only now because I kept glancing at my watch, anxious to get back to camp… I wasn't uncomfortable with him, I was just, uncomfortable with myself, because I was too much of an idiot, to tell him the truth. We walked back, our hands held in silence. The fire was high, sparks flying out in some sort of dance; you could visibly see the heat waved embracing the air as if it was its only life source… I wished, that we could've been embracing, always forever, in our own little world… No one else, just us…

My brother, who was already twenty-five, had a steady girlfriend, was sitting there on a log, roasting yet another hot dog, while our two families played some sort of tag game in the distance. He opened his mouth as I sat down on a log across from him, I patted the spot next to me, and we sat together, his hand barely resting on mine… My brother looked at the fire, sadly, morosely…and then I knew… I just knew it was going to come to this…

_'It's so weird that we only have one week left…' _And all my brother did was look at me, I just shook my head, and he understood and backed away, rambling on about joining them in their happy go lucky game. And now…it was time to tell the truth… I held his hand, mine was clammy with sweat as I started to cry, the tears just slipping down my cheeks, feeling boiling hot in the heated air.

I drew a breath…and then spouted it all it one big gush…I broke the dam, and he didn't look too happy about it either.

_'We're moving…in a week. Dad says he's going to get a better job in Alaska at the Slope then at here in Houston.'_

Then when I looked at him, his eyes were red, and so was his nose, splotchy from the effort of keeping the tears inside.

_'Why didn't you tell me?'_

And I made the biggest mistake… I ran away, I just bolted. And from ten feet away, I answered, my voice muffled, my nose clogged, and my heart broken…

_"Because…I wanted us to be together…forever…"_

I cried so hard, so fierce, my eyes just, overflowing, brimming in tears, wet, stupid, salty tears. And my cousin/friend Holly took me away down a dirt path, she took me away, right down to that lake, where he first taught me how to skip a pebble. Everything was right, it all fit perfectly, and I ruined it…

Later we all separated to our tents, and as I lay sleeplessly in my tent, I could hear him, still outside, still thinking, and he was crying. Crying out to that one someone who left him, who didn't tell him anything, the someone who broke his heart.

..Me…

A week after that, I stood outside, with him right next to me. I fingered a ring that was strung around my neck. Two days after our camping trip, he bought these rings and as he put one around my neck and I the same…he said something that I will never forget…

_'My heart…for yours…'_

And he really did have my heart, every single tiny piece of it, and I had his, the broken puzzle, waiting to become glued. And so that last day, the last day that I would see him…

I kissed him, hard, full, sadly. And he kissed me back… And As I cried and sobbed, looking out of my window from the back seat, he just stood there, his eyes blank…

That memory plays over and over again in my head, so bittersweet…so full of tears and love… I moved to this town seven month's ago, I thought I fell in love with the perfect boy, five month's ago, and now, I'm getting married to that boy… While somewhere…somehow, my first love is still breaking, still crying…

I'm getting married today…to Cliff. His roommate, Gray, my friend, stands off to the side…glaring in our direction… I have known Gray for seven month's… I've known Cliff for five… Yet, Cliff proposed, Cliff declared that he loved me… But it wasn't the same as five years ago, sitting in that detention room.

When I ran into the jewelers shop, bursting with the news, Gray just stood there, his hands in his pocket. I noticed I knew…I know I knew somehow. That's when my necklace came out from under my shirt and then he asked me where I got it. I held it in my hands…and remembered the boy from so long ago…the boy who still owns my heart and wears it around his neck just like I do.

He forced a smile, and something peeked out from his pocket… A tiny silver chain, faded and worn, but still there, it was always still there… It was him, Gray, the ginger haired, hot tempered boy, the seven year old friend, the thirteen year old accomplice, the sixteen year old lover. But there was nothing I could do…nothing I could say.

I just hugged him, and walked out, and somehow, I knew that he was sitting there staring, just like he did so long ago, crying, because the one he loved broke his heart once again.

So now here I am, standing in front of the pulpit, not staring at my fiancé Cliff, but his best man, Gray. And I know he can see the ring around my neck. Then Cliff looks at me, holds both of my hands, and whispers while the preacher drones on and on.

"My heart for yours…"

And then the preacher asks the question that will end it all. And I answer…Staring at Gray the whole time.

But...does he even know I'm that girl, does he even realize? Maybe he's just in love with me… not the girl so long ago. This is now… And as I look at him, his heart strung around my neck… I start to cry, big wet sobbing tears…I can't stop.

I still have his heart, and he has mine…

"I…"

Cliff smiles, Gray looks at the floor, wipes at his eyes…

"I..."

The preacher unclogs his throat

"Ann, do you take Cliff as your lawful wedded husband…?"

I realize, no matter what I do, nothing will be ever the same…and still looking at Gray, I seal the envelope, tie the fate.

"I do…"

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_A/N_

_Yes, after that review, I couldn't help but make it Ann… It was just so delicious…. Thank you for reading!_

_The-Music-Of-Hands_


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